Festival security for Countdown Virtual rave-a-thon to be a no show once again

After a great start in what seems to be the temporary norm for music events it seemed Beyond Wonderland hit the nail in the coffin after stats from the virtual event came to light. Pasquale decided to take it a notch further and do away with security for this weekends virtual event Countdown. Day one proved to doubters that Mr. Rotella was right in not hiring security as it shows that there were zero altercation and no arrests made. “We’re expecting the same results for night two” said Pasquale Rotella.

Ghost producers are actually dead DJ’s

Bangers have been dropping and at times we don’t know who to really thank until now. A team of ghost busters have been investigating a case at a recording studio that is considered to be haunted. Ivan who’s lead investigator of the team and has been a ghost buster for over 40 years took this particular job due to his love of music and his belief that these amazing sequence of beats are coming from beyond the grave.

Tools like voice recorders, infrared thermometers and ghost boxes were used and placed through out the studio. Left for 24 hours to collect data and information pertaining to witness complaints, a lot that was collected coincided with statements made from those who witnessed the paranormal activities. After some research and processing it’s firmly believed that songs are still being created by producers who’ve passed away and are being taken by crappy producers to pass off as their own masterpiece. Due to privacy issues and for the respect of families still mourning names could not be released.

Ivan goes on to state that “this is not a myth and in fact true and that producers need to hop off and be more creative”. Currently there are 5 pending lawsuits from music producers against Ivan’s ghost busting agency. “The truth hurts” said Ivan.

DJ’s giveaway rolls of toilet paper for livestream views

Some DJ’s are struggling to stay relevant and social media algorithms are only making matters worst. Since a quarantine has been put in place for most part of the world, DJ/producers have had no interaction with large groups of people like they would normally. No festivals, no nightclub events, no pool parties… NOTHING! Many have had to take on live streaming and for some its looking grim. For those forced to pay for higher exposure for more views and more reaction on their livestream feed have turned to rolls of toilet paper. Toilet paper has become very valuable and is considered very limited at the moment. Who wouldn’t want free toilet paper, right? DJ’s have come up with a solution where they are giving away free toilet paper rolls to those who check in to view their livestream and show support. A bedroom producer who lives in his moms basement told us his mom loves hoarding and that he was lucky to score a whole bunch of toilet paper to giveaway to continue his love and passion for DJing.

Carl Cox has a new calling during this CoronaVirus Pandemic

It’s been hard for everyone during this CoronaVirus Pandemic, but for people like Carl Cox It has opened up a new door of opportunities. With all festival sets and tour dates cancelled he’s gone back to his old calling, which takes him back to his hometown of Carshalton, which is located in south London.

Carl Cox

Who would have thought that the house/techno god everyone knows had a soft spot for electrical services. We got a quick word from Carl and he said “Mate, I’m glad to be back home and do what I love most. I’ll be back and tour the world once again once it’s deemed safe”. Carl Cox Is offering up 3 mix tapes for free to those who are first time client’s.

Beyond Wonderland’s Virtual Rave-A-Thon reports 0 arrest & 0 deaths on day 1

Day 1 was a huge success and for those who attended the livestream on day 1 Insomniac thanks you. Local law enforcement and paramedics reported no incidents on day 1 and hope for the same results on day 2.

Stay tuned for day 2 that kicks off tonight at 8PM PT with another stunning lineup. Remember to always be PLUR and share your virtual water with those in need and never forget to test your goodies.

Steve Aoki is having a hard time not being able to throw cake at people

With festival season cancelled and nightclubs through out the country shutdown its been hard for Steve Aoki who is use to throwing cakes on a daily and nightly basis. In the past year alone Steve threw over 800 cakes at crowds. A pastry chef commented that his business is hurting and hopes for Steve Aoki to tour again… “We value Steve Aoki’s business and he’s the reason our doors stay open” the pastry chef said as he was fighting back tears.

For now Steve Aoki only hopes for life to get back to normal so that he can play his pre-recorded sets while throwing cake at people’s faces. He’s currently working on set for a livestream that he’s planning to broadcast on Facebook. When asked if there’s going to be cake involved he replied “you know the amount of clean up that’s going to take” .

Spirit of Halloween to open up at music festival venues nationwide

Seems business is booming for the Spirit of Halloween brand by taking on outdoor music venues rather than their usual abandoned spots in strip malls. CEO Steven Silverstein calls it a great opportunity for millennials to come out and enjoy despite everything that’s happening. He says that all locations will have stereo setups with top EDM sets from previous years playing on loop. He laughs as he says “people won’t have to be fooled now and know it’s all just pre recorded”.

Along with costumes and cheap Halloween makeup Spirit of Halloween will be selling rave attire and accessories at discounted price.

P.S. sniffing dogs will be at the door!

UMF coming along nicely for its postponed 2020 edition (check out the pictures)

Pushed to the first weekend in April, UMF in Miami seems to be coming together nicely in the middle of this COVID-19 madness. Construction has been underway for almost 2 weeks now and is almost complete as you can see from the images below.

Some changes to the lineup have been made and it seems that the only performances are from CoronaVirus, COVID-19, sore throat b2b with runny nose and a surprise appearance by fever.

I’m glad the organizers to this event decided to take the heat and keep on with the show.

Study: Riddim proven to lower IQ

Riddim….. it’s said to be a sub genre of dubstep, but anyone deep into dubstep seems to hate it. Before I go any further let’s not get confused with the Jamaican Riddim, which shares the same name and has given little influence to this newer version white kids are going crazy over. The behavior of those who really like Riddim has attracted the attention of medical professionals from all over the world curious to know more about Riddim lovers and why they’re less fortunate.

A psychologist in Russia has been running a study that has to do with sound waves and bpm and how the brain processes different variation of sounds. EDM was used through out testing on a few volunteers. The psychologist who is named Dr. Roxana allowed volunteers to pick the sub genre within the EDM category and ran 5 tasks for each.

She quickly noticed that the volunteer who chose to hear Riddim through out the 5 different tasks which included writing down names of closest family members did not perform well. She explained that the volunteer sat there silently while drooling and appeared to go back to normal once the music was paused. The other volunteers performed rather well and showed no signs of any negative brain activity… while the Riddim listener seemed to have fallen back from reality and in the medical world would be considered clinically brain dead.

Dr. Roxana is concerned and said that there is long term damage due to listening to Riddim. She goes on to mention that Riddim fans have a better chance at staring right into the sun with their bare eyes and avoiding any sort of self harm, but listening to Riddim would be like a gunshot to the head at point blank range.

EDCLV will only let you enter with hazmat suits unless you’re a wook

The CDC reached out to the insomniac team after closing most of Vegas off and offered a solution by allowing ravers to only attend EDCLV if they were to only wear hazmat suits and camp on festival grounds. The CDC also went on to mention that no such act as eating ass should be allowed due to the fear that the virus may further spread. Pasquale also went on to mention that “El Pulpo” will be shooting out hand sanitizing liquids to keep the germs from spreading.

Pasquale reminded us that this may not apply to the wook community and that this is more of a choice since they’re immune to about everything out there. As he went on to finish he quickly added “they have their ketamine to protect themselves”.

The CDC urges Kandi ravers to wear their hand made masks and to avoid trading and showing PLUR traditions to avoid constant human contact. Pasquale seems pretty confident and feels this edition of EDCLV will go as planned regardless of what’s going on worldwide.