Festival security for Countdown Virtual rave-a-thon to be a no show once again

After a great start in what seems to be the temporary norm for music events it seemed Beyond Wonderland hit the nail in the coffin after stats from the virtual event came to light. Pasquale decided to take it a notch further and do away with security for this weekends virtual event Countdown. Day one proved to doubters that Mr. Rotella was right in not hiring security as it shows that there were zero altercation and no arrests made. “We’re expecting the same results for night two” said Pasquale Rotella.

Ghost producers are actually dead DJ’s

Bangers have been dropping and at times we don’t know who to really thank until now. A team of ghost busters have been investigating a case at a recording studio that is considered to be haunted. Ivan who’s lead investigator of the team and has been a ghost buster for over 40 years took this particular job due to his love of music and his belief that these amazing sequence of beats are coming from beyond the grave.

Tools like voice recorders, infrared thermometers and ghost boxes were used and placed through out the studio. Left for 24 hours to collect data and information pertaining to witness complaints, a lot that was collected coincided with statements made from those who witnessed the paranormal activities. After some research and processing it’s firmly believed that songs are still being created by producers who’ve passed away and are being taken by crappy producers to pass off as their own masterpiece. Due to privacy issues and for the respect of families still mourning names could not be released.

Ivan goes on to state that “this is not a myth and in fact true and that producers need to hop off and be more creative”. Currently there are 5 pending lawsuits from music producers against Ivan’s ghost busting agency. “The truth hurts” said Ivan.

DJ’s giveaway rolls of toilet paper for livestream views

Some DJ’s are struggling to stay relevant and social media algorithms are only making matters worst. Since a quarantine has been put in place for most part of the world, DJ/producers have had no interaction with large groups of people like they would normally. No festivals, no nightclub events, no pool parties… NOTHING! Many have had to take on live streaming and for some its looking grim. For those forced to pay for higher exposure for more views and more reaction on their livestream feed have turned to rolls of toilet paper. Toilet paper has become very valuable and is considered very limited at the moment. Who wouldn’t want free toilet paper, right? DJ’s have come up with a solution where they are giving away free toilet paper rolls to those who check in to view their livestream and show support. A bedroom producer who lives in his moms basement told us his mom loves hoarding and that he was lucky to score a whole bunch of toilet paper to giveaway to continue his love and passion for DJing.

Beyond Wonderland’s Virtual Rave-A-Thon reports 0 arrest & 0 deaths on day 1

Day 1 was a huge success and for those who attended the livestream on day 1 Insomniac thanks you. Local law enforcement and paramedics reported no incidents on day 1 and hope for the same results on day 2.

Stay tuned for day 2 that kicks off tonight at 8PM PT with another stunning lineup. Remember to always be PLUR and share your virtual water with those in need and never forget to test your goodies.

Steve Aoki is having a hard time not being able to throw cake at people

With festival season cancelled and nightclubs through out the country shutdown its been hard for Steve Aoki who is use to throwing cakes on a daily and nightly basis. In the past year alone Steve threw over 800 cakes at crowds. A pastry chef commented that his business is hurting and hopes for Steve Aoki to tour again… “We value Steve Aoki’s business and he’s the reason our doors stay open” the pastry chef said as he was fighting back tears.

For now Steve Aoki only hopes for life to get back to normal so that he can play his pre-recorded sets while throwing cake at people’s faces. He’s currently working on set for a livestream that he’s planning to broadcast on Facebook. When asked if there’s going to be cake involved he replied “you know the amount of clean up that’s going to take” .

Spirit of Halloween to open up at music festival venues nationwide

Seems business is booming for the Spirit of Halloween brand by taking on outdoor music venues rather than their usual abandoned spots in strip malls. CEO Steven Silverstein calls it a great opportunity for millennials to come out and enjoy despite everything that’s happening. He says that all locations will have stereo setups with top EDM sets from previous years playing on loop. He laughs as he says “people won’t have to be fooled now and know it’s all just pre recorded”.

Along with costumes and cheap Halloween makeup Spirit of Halloween will be selling rave attire and accessories at discounted price.

P.S. sniffing dogs will be at the door!

UMF coming along nicely for its postponed 2020 edition (check out the pictures)

Pushed to the first weekend in April, UMF in Miami seems to be coming together nicely in the middle of this COVID-19 madness. Construction has been underway for almost 2 weeks now and is almost complete as you can see from the images below.

Some changes to the lineup have been made and it seems that the only performances are from CoronaVirus, COVID-19, sore throat b2b with runny nose and a surprise appearance by fever.

I’m glad the organizers to this event decided to take the heat and keep on with the show.

Kandi masks are the key to saving EDCLV From the CoronaVirus

Kandi ravers across the nation are joining forces and saving festival season by making kandi masks. The impenetrable mask is held together by PLUR and good vibes. EDCLV is on the brink of cancelling and after Ultra Miami’s fast exit left many kandi kids nervous and willing to serve a real purpose.

Kandi Flower, who’s behind the whole movement and has been raving since the early 90´s has made over 10,000 Kandi masks. To acquire a mask one must know how to trade or they’re pretty much screwed.

The only downfall is that one must be true to raves and be PLUR at all times for it to protect against the CoronaVirus. A disclaimer on the side of the kandi mask says Chads may have an allergic reaction due to its good vibe antidote embedded inside.

Tomorrowland Winter will offer discounts for 2021

With the cancellation of Tomorrowland Winter due to the CoronaVirus festival organizers decided to offer discounts. The festival was scheduled for March 14th through the 21st in Alpe d’Huez. 

A full refund is being offered. Tomorrowland have also shared that those who had purchased tickets to Tomorrowland Winter 2020 will have a first chance to buy tickets for the Winter festival in 2021, as well as a chance to buy tickets for the flagship Belgian festival in Summer 2021. Ticket holders can also expect to recieve a €50 voucher for the Tomorrowland merchandise store.

Drug Dealers are suing Ultra Music Festival for canceling

Not a good day in Miami as it seems many drug dealers are pissed and taking in the news of Ultra Miami’s cancellation the wrong way. As of this morning the city council went forward on live local television to make the official cancellation (you can see here: official statement ). “It wasn’t a great day for us that gotta hustle tourists” said Juan Pablo, who we got to interview outside of his little Havana home just west of Brickell.

Juan Pablo went on to mention that the ability to over price his goods and rip off tourists is what keeps food on the table year round for his family. He seemed devastated! We also got to speak to his neighbor who didn’t want to be identified and said that “It’s all politics” and that “Ultra didn’t want to take the heat for it”. The unidentified individual was looking forward to the festival and breaking his own personal record of stealing cell phones, which he boasted about being Just over 200 phones the last ultra.

With Miami Music Week somewhat intact it seems these Miami hustlers are going to have to target the smaller crowds and hope for the best.