SoundCloud to close all shitty accounts due to space shortage

If you’ve got a SoundCloud account and your friends consider it trash please read this! Day in and day out accounts are being made by aspiring musicians of all skill levels on SoundCloud . There has been more account signups than anticipated on SoundCloud and due to that they’ve started deleting accounts that are considered straight dog shit. Complaints of the site crashing and web pages not properly loading has caused SoundCloud to go on a purge.

How to find out if your account qualifies for the purge on SoundCloud? Get a group of your 10 best homies together and have them listen to the tracks on your SoundCloud account. Check for facial reactions and for that one occasional asshole who can’t keep mean comments to themselves. Once you’ve done all this than you’ll know.

Steve Aoki to add concrete to his cake recipe

Steve Aoki announces that he’s got a big surprise for his fans and can’t wait for the coronavirus mess to be over with to share it. It seems Steve Aoki has enhanced the flavor and life expectancy of his cakes by adding concrete to the mixture. Cakes are usually made and picked up 24 hours before any of his events and tends to lose form and softens through out that time making the process of throwing the cake sloppy. Steve Aoki also says that with concrete the flavor will preserve making it taste fresh 5x longer.

Steve Aoki strongly encourages fans to be in the front for the chance at an amazing experience. He also adds that his accuracy has improved tremendously since all he’s been doing is practicing throwing cake.

New edible glitter allows you to fart rainbows & have farts glow in the dark

The perfect product is finally here brought to you by the company ‘Unicorn Farts’! The edible glitter, which allows you to fart rainbows is now a real thing. Tests have been conducted and the product through a number of testing is now FDA approved and safe to consume. You may feel a slight constipation, but that’s normal.

The company mainly focuses on making edible glitter for gay pride parades and raves since that’s mainly the only time adults are willingly going to ingest glitter by the gallon. ‘Unicorn Farts’ came up with a glow in the dark edition for ravers, which will allow you to see neon color fart fumes… pretty cool, right? Between the rainbow and glow in the dark, farts can be seen spread as far as 25 feet from the pair of butt cheeks that let loose. Imagine losing your friends in a crowd and just texting them to fart and all you’d have to do is follow a glow or a rainbow.

‘Unicorn Farts’ believe this product will be a home run and loved amount young adults, but they also encourage all age groups to buy and fart in unity.

Trump announces EDM tour in hopes of connecting with more Millennials

Trump is taking a much different approach for his campaign strategy in 2020. It appears he didn’t capture many young voters in 2016 and it almost cost him the White House . Trump wants to avoid the possibility of losing out on young voters and has been taking private DJ lessons. It’s reported that Skrillex is the man helping Trump out and showing him how to drop the bass, which is essential considering young people love dubstep.

Skrillex claims Trump is his protege and will take the thrown once his political career is over. “The dubstep scene needs a guy like Donald Trump… A much older character in the scene who really drops filth. We’ve never had that” said Skrillex. In the meantime Donald Trump hopes that all he’s learned from Skrillex can benefit him for another successful run at the White House.

At upcoming rally’s Trump claims that he’s going to mix some of Skrillex’s best tracks from the 2010-2012 era and hopes that the nostalgia feels win the hearts of potential votes for him. He named a few tracks and I myself got a little nervous about this advantage he now holds.

Mosh pit caused 1st death in drive in rave history

There’s that saying “there’s a first for everything”.Just last weekend in Germany a drive in rave reported its first casualty. Event organizers seem to be blaming the DJ especially after the DJ decided to play a classic EDM banger called ‘prison riot’, which caused attendees to go nuts forming a circle to close off the pit. Witnesses reported a much smaller car jumping in and getting t-boned within the first five seconds by a pickup. The impact of the crash was enough to stop the DJ mid set. The DJ pissed for being rudely interrupted asked the parties involved to exit their vehicles and apologize. When the attendee in the small car did not come out, EMT’s went to check and that is when the discovery was made. The driver was not responsive.

Organizers are working with police in this investigation to make sure there was no foul play involved. The cause of death is still yet to be determined, but the medical examiners office believe the death is linked to the Coronavirus.

To hear the banger that caused this unfortunate turn of events check the video below:

Virtual rave veterans complain that the virtual scene ain’t the same anymore

Two months deep into this whole virtual rave scene and we’ve seen a whole evolutional change according to some. Those who were part of the scene before it became “mainstream” complain that there’s a whole bunch of posers. “PLUR avenger” who claims to be an OG reminisces on the old virtual rave days where people appreciated the live stream acts and were watching for the love of music. “I miss those days” said PLUR avenger. As time passes by fellow OG virtual ravers are getting together and spreading their knowledge and sharing pictures and videos of the “good old days” with in EDM groups on Facebook.

EDC Las Vegas goes its first year without shuttle complaints

Year after year the complaints roll in from festival attendees about how delayed shuttles are and how the whole EDC Las Vegas shuttle system sucks.This year turned out totally different with all three days totaling to zero complaints. Those who help Pasquale Rotella organize never look forward to the grueling task that comes with shuttles and the shit show it brings. One of the people who volunteered this year to help organize told us that Covid-19 definitely made things easier and stress free. “Hearing people complain about a generic ass set they missed thatˋs probably pre recorded and played over and over for the last 3 years can get pretty tiring” said the same volunteer who didn’t want to be identified. As the 2020 edition ends we look forward to planning 2021 and hope that this hot streak of zero shuttle complaints continue.

Marshmello’s mom forgot what her son looks like

We all know Dotcom took a different route to EDM popularity years ago and came out with a new entity known as Marshmello. Taking a more of a secret identity approach even though we all know who it really is by now, it seems Marshmello takes his costume look a little too far. It’s claimed by family members and friends that the helmet never comes off. His mom on the other hand has forgotten what her son looks like and even forgot what he sounds like. “Its been so long since I saw my little boy and sometimes wonder if that person in the helmet is really him”. Marshmello’s mom begs for him to take off the helmet, but he is determined to stay in character. We got to speak to his girlfriend and she claims that even during sexual intercourse the helmet stays on and by now she has gotten use to the situation and treats it as role playing during sex. Marshmello on the other hand has a stunning career that keeps getting better for him.

Ravers who were looking for Molly were actually part of a police search party

The search for Molly went cold as memories of her faded over the years. From undercover cops at events to our fellow ravers, everyone was looking for Molly. The news spread like wildfire, but no one ever found her. Flyers, shirts and even posts on social media were made in hopes of finding Molly, but no luck. Top DJs were also part of the search offering up resources in hopes of finding her. This tragic event has taught me a few things, that ravers will have each others back, this community does care and PLUR exists. The effort everyone put into this search gives me hope that this scene will never die.

Festival season to resume if ravers stop showing so much PLUR

We’ve been given an ultimatum, that in my opinion is worth taking if we want to rave anytime soon. The CDC have done their part by telling festival organizers to inform ravers that being PLUR is a no go. No mid roll hugging your homie because you’re on a good one and no trading Kandi especially trades that include head touches. The CDC will have none of it!

If that wasn’t enough the CDC is strongly urging couples not to show PDA. Holding hands may only be allowed if gloves are warn. Government drones with cameras will be hovering at low altitudes with 9mm glocks attached to them only going off when sensors indicate human to human contact. Organizers are very apologetic about these unorthodox methods, but this would be the only way to ensure music festivals won’t get cancelled going forward.